“Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.” ~Ritu Ghatourey
After many years of being the “dumper” in the relationship, I then spent many years being the “dumpee.”
Even after I had worked through all of that karma that I had instilled upon myself, when it came time for my last break-up, it was finally a mutual decision. Still, it left me feeling lost and incomplete.
I had never felt happier with any other man, and at the same time, I knew I deserved better. We both loved each other so much, but we found ourselves growing apart.
It took a long time and a lot of healing in order to begin to function again, and to fill my life with love again. Except this time, the love came in a different form. It came in the form of loving myself.
Along the way, I learned that a break-up can be a beautiful thing. Here’s why:
1. You get space to analyze what went wrong.
Without your partner around, you can look at the relationship as a whole.
Notice how you contributed to it, which can be difficult to see at first. For example, maybe you got angrybecause he stopped calling as frequently, and you let him know it. And when he finally did call, perhaps you expressed your anger again rather than praising him for calling.
Maybe she became more distant, and yet even with this factor, there is room for improvement with communication on both sides.
After some time, look to see how you can improve yourself or make wiser decisions the next time around.
2. It gives you space to fully heal you.
Normally we spend our times healing from relationships we have had with specific people. But if we take the time to look at the bigger picture, we can look to see if there’s a certain pattern that keeps repeating.
Are you dating women who remind you of your ex? Have you given yourself enough time to get over the last guy? Do you tend to date a certain type of person?
Whatever it is, we now have an opportunity to fully heal that wounded and sometimes buried part of ourselves that’s causing the repeating behavior (or repeating bad boy), so that we enter the next relationship more whole and happy.
3. It gives you time to take up a new hobby.
I know there is something you’ve been yearning to try. Maybe you’ve thought about it every day for three years, or maybe you have forgotten about it. Remember it.
What is it? Is it kickboxing? Cooking? Learning Italian? Finally having the time to read more? Play poker? Exploring your city? Exploring nature? Learn astrophysics? What is it? Give yourself the time to do that.
4. It creates space for more risk-taking.
Without having to worry about your partner’s reaction to something (read more HERE)
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